The animal Kingdom has
been birthed among the citizens in Nigeria. It is a new kingdom where strange
things happen. A novel idea of those
neck-deep in corruption has been crafted, such that best exists in fairy tales.
The mysterious attachment to this new-found trade is chilling. In George Orwell’s
ANIMAL FARM which was first published as far back as 17th August,
1945, the main characters of that book were never figured as interacting with
money, not much even as having Bank Accounts. Napoleon and Snowball, and the
ever-compliant hardworking Boxer, with Moses were not as inventive as the
Nigerian animals of the present time. The Russian animals did not have poisoned
brains like those Nigerian animals which swallow money with great ease of taste.
The creation of this
novel Kingdom was first witnessed in the present government of President Buhari
when men must devise every means to cheat on the society to survive. In Benue State, the sum of N36Million was said
to have been swallowed by a snake. The money was the proceeds from the sales of
the Joint Admissions Matriculation Board’s (JAMB) scratch cards. Following the
innovation brought by the Head of that Body, Professor Is-haq Olarewaju Oloyede,
stopping the regime of the use of scratch cards, directed the reconciliation of
Account of JAMB in the previous sales of the cards. But In Makurdi, Benue State
of Nigeria, some employees of JAMB reportedly connived with a snake to defraud
the parastatal of the hitherto said sum. In an enquiry into the whereabouts of
this huge sum of money, a JAMB clerk named Philomina Chieshe could not account
for it. In her watery defence when questioned, the said Chieshe accused her
housemaid of connivance with another
JAMB staff, a colleague of hers, Joan Asen of stealing the money through
spiritual means. It was a mammoth mysterious snake employed to swallow the
money. The Snake must have been told the location of the office where the money
was kept and patiently swallowed the dry papers (currency) to the tune of N36Million.
and conveniently glided away to base, like the ancient serpent that occasioned
Eve’s fall.
When the snake came to
the office, it did not swallow the conspicuous Attendance Register. The office files
were left untouched but in its ancient spiritual wisdom it easily identified
the naira notes and carefully swallowed the neatly arranged piles of notes in a
way they could be vomited for use when prompted.
In a similar angle, few
months after the Snake episode in Benue State, it appeared the news of the
N36Million spread among the Animal Kingdom like harmattan fire. This time it
was the turn of the gorillas, the same family with the monkeys and the chimpanzees.
But in strict comparism, it appeared the snake with its natural subtlety was defter
in stealing higher volumes of notes than the amateurish gorilla. In Kano State
of Nigeria, a gorilla was alleged to have swallowed N6.8Million. This time
around, the animal stole this money in his ‘natural’ habitat, the zoo. So, it
was easier since it must be a familiar terrain. The Kano Zoological Gardens lost
this money to the gorilla during the recent Sallah break. The gorilla
positioned himself strategically to ensure that the gate fees paid by the
tourists to the zoo were quickly swallowed before the humans would restrict
him, after all, he can’t be in the zoo and would not display some traits of the
animals he is cohabiting with, particularly in the lifestyle of grand
corruption.
The gorilla swallowed
N6.8Million, while the snake swallowed N36Million. So these animals in the new.ly
established Animal Kingdom have swallowed a cumulative sum of N42.8Million
within a year. I hope very soon, animals will not take over as Directors of
these government parastatals while the humans become the subordinates – the reign
of penetrative and overwhelming corruption!
I personally urge
the government of Kano State to thoroughly investigate the case of the theft in
the zoo by the gorilla and get the identity of this gorilla. The gorilla must
have been on the payroll of the State government with the common Identity card
of the Staff of the Kano Zoological Gardens. The gorilla must have an accommodation
in the zoo of the corrupt and needs to be fished out. This animal has several huge
Bank Accounts that normal humans may not
boast of. They must all be traced by his Bank Verification Number. Much money
must have been swallowed by this gorilla and its offspring in the office, besides
the one discovered.
As for the N36Million
swallowed by the Snake, JAMB should get the snake arrested and a surgical operation
performed on it by the glittering surgical knife of the Economic and Financial
Crimes Commission. It should be taught an eternal lesson that snakes have no
business with humans, not to talk more of swallowing money kept in the offices
of government establishments. When has snakes begun spending money in the Animal
kingdom? Since the clerk, Chieshe and Joan Asen are identifiable by their
names, the snake (their accomplice) can be identifiable as well.. The trio
should be subjected to unhindered investigation. Let the Bank Account of the Snake
be thoroughly scrutinized, while the stolen funds be permanently forfeited and
returned to JAMB. The accomplices of the snake, as well as the snake itself, must
face prosecution. I am very convinced that Chiese should know where the snake
lives. They must have had several meals together as a syndicate.
If this dirty and shameful
trend is not nipped in the bud by a decisive action of the government, in no
time mysterious rabbits, squirrels, antelopes, frogs, hawks, even earthworms will
soon invade federal establishments swallowing millions of Naira. What is
currently in Nigeria could have been best told in fairy tales; and when they
are being told, inquisitive children would even ask with all mustered curiosity
of how animals could cheaply swallow dry papers in volumes of millions. Unfortunately,
this is not a fairy tale. It is the reality in Nigeria. What a shame to a people
who have no dint of conscience remaining in them in the discharge of national
duty!
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